Category: the Rant Board
Well, another thing about my mum which is strange. For example: I baught myself some Flip flops on friday. My mother would never buy me one. Why? Well, she claimed: "you can#t walk in them, anyway". Without even letting me try it!! Such examples show in my family a lot. I feel like they think, only because I'm blind, I am too stupid to walk in flip flops? Ha ha ha, funny, isn#t it? No, it isn#t, that's why I will buy my things myself from now on and I won't give a damm about what my mother says about it.
i certainly feel for you. when i was away at my fiance's house, my laptop was unplugged, so was the fan in my bedroom. she also thought it was a laugh to unplug my digital radio from the sockets as well. i was so mad with her. i buy my own things now too and she still has a go about my money, even though i'm 21 and can manage these things myself.
yes. That's the problem though: I still depend on their money. And they are angry if I buy things myself.
Well, parents annoy their kids. It’s what they do. And 9 times out of 10 they don’t even realize they’re doing it. When it comes to money, often parents become adgitated because the kids are perhaps spending their money unwisely. Sure, it’s your money and you can do with it what you want, but if you didn’t get some guidance from your parents then you would never learn to manage money effectively. And also I think that people who live with their parents longer have more problems, because you haven’t left home, your parents don’t seem to get this notion that actually you’re not a kid any more, after all, you’re still living at home. And parents will try to get involved in their kids’ lives no matter what. After all, they brought them up, so invariably they have their kids’ best interests at heart, even if that notion is perhaps a little misguided sometimes.
I'm so sorry that you have to go through that Ines!!! All I have to say is try to be strong and you will pull through these rough times somehow. Parents seem so imposible sometimes, believe me, I know!!! But never do or say anything that you will regret someday!!! Try to look at things from her point of view... She does have your best interests at heart and explaining to her calmly that you can walk in flip flops without blowing up at her will bring you a long way!!! I hope this advice helps and a big hug from me to you!!!
*sexy*
Claire, I agree with you. But there is one thing: I told her a thousand times not to pressure me and not to watch and control me al lthe time and not to choose clothes without asking me and all that. I feel I must vent.
ah yeh, and I have told my mother a thousand times not to give Nathan chocolate bars or cadburys cream eggs and not to tell him his mummy is horrible when I discipline him in front of her, but she rarely gets the point. I guess what I'm trying to say is, mothers are just like that, I just hope I will learn from it and be a less wingeing mother than mine is. grin
I agree with SB. Parents will always annoy their children in some way even when they become adults. I think that something which concerns and worries parents about their kids as they become older is their financial management. Especially with visually impaired kids, parents are reluctant to hand over full control of finances. I had the problem but I convinced my parents. I know of a lot of people who didn't stand up for themselves and they enter their 20's still having limited access to their money. I think that as an adult it's up to you to decide what you buy Innesle not your parents. They are entitled to their views on what you do, but you make the final decision!
Oh but I forgot to say that if that money is your parents and not yours, it's entirely their decision how they spend it and you are only entitled to as much influence in that decision as they allow since it's there money. You know what to do, start managing your money for yourself. It's what adults do!
so true WW. the bottom line here for everybody going threw similar problems to ines is that if you want to be treated like an adult you have to be prepared to take the responsibility of one! now that can mean doing a lot more for yourself such as cooking, cleaning, house work, etc etc or possibly even take the step of moving out of home all together! what claire says is right though! it is hard for parents to let go. of course it is! that's only natural. but it is also important to realise that when living at home you take an awful lot for granted. its almost like you want the responsibility of being an adult when it comes to spending money and doing what you want when you want, but not when it comes to many other things as i've already mentioned above.
if you genuinely feel ready to take full responsibility for yourself then don't complain about it! do it! after all, as you've already pointed out! you are an adult!
But still, it is my right to try things out and not being judged like "oh you can't wear them anyway" or "oh you can#t walk in them anyway".
absolutely! i couldn't agree more!
Way to go Ines, I feel for you girl. Go do your thing.
Also I don't live at home all the time. I am living in a boarding school. Sure, it#S their money. But it doesn't have to be the money though! It has nothing to do with money, it's just that she should give me freedom to try things out to create my own opinions.
#because if she makes prejudices like this, then I will end up as a scared little girl who never tried things out.
Well there is no reason why you shouldn't try things. It's free to try things usually so you could try anything you wanted to but she doesn't have to pay for it. If trying costs money then it's your mums decision as to whether you try it or not if you expect her to pay. If it doesn't then its your decision because you're an adult and adults make their own decisions about what they do.
Exactly, but she did not even let me try things out, she claimed I couldn't do it anyway and I believed her. Till now. i won't believe her anymore.